Wednesday, December 26, 2007

What to do...

I'm between a rock and a hard place. The only think I can think of is follow your heart. My heart is not the best with directions, trust me I know. I'll give it time over my vacation. When I get back, I'll have to make a real choice. I hate this, and I hate more that this is not my fault, but I have to do something about it. Why does life have to be so hard?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Strength, Love, Hope, Success

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever.”
"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
Bill Cosby
“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
Bill Cosby

Monday, December 17, 2007

For Penny

Penny- here it is the song I tried to play on the juke box which so rudely started in the middle.

Dusty Drake
Say Yes


We've only known each other scince the moment we met
But it seems like forever to me
I haven't figured out the perfect way to say it yet
But I suppose at times like these
A man should get down on his knees
How'd ya like to be in my wedding
How'd ya like to walk down the isle
You could be the center of attention
Everyone would look at you and smile
We could send our friends invitations
You could wear a long white dress
If you'd like to be in my wedding, darlin'
All ya have to do is say, "Yes"
Your folks could be seated in the very front row
And cry when we all turn to look at you
We could cut the cake
And we could strike a pose
Like the little bitty plastic bride and groom
And then begin our life-long honeymoon
How'd ya like to be in my wedding
How'd ya like to walk down the isle
You could be the center of attention
Everyone would look at you and smile
We could send our friends invitations
You could wear a long White dress
If you'd like to be in my wedding, darlin'
All ya have to do is say, "Yes"
Say, "Yes"
Say, "Yes" (How'd ya like to be in my wedding)
Please say, "Yes" (How'd ya like to be in my wedding)
Say, "Yes" (How'd ya like to be in my wedding)
(How'd ya like to be in my wedding)
(How'd ya like to be in my wedding)

what less than a week...crap!

Crap is right folks. Here I have been thinking that I have Christ,as basically done. Then I realize, crap.....crap crap crap I'm nowhere close. Alright now that I have freaked out I'm back to my list. By the way...my gift for my baby nephews...holy crap it is so cool! Alrighty then I'm off to fetch my embroidery machine and get busy.

Glad I'm done with all my real work this week already..now I can just focus on presents.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

mmmm, I am in love with this sad song

"You Had Time"
how can I go home
with nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
and say what did you do out there
and what did you decide
you said you needed time
and you had time
you are a china shop
and I am a bull
you are really good food
and I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
so I am coming home with an empty head
you'll say did they love you or what
I'll say they love what I do
the only one who really loves me is you
and you'll say girl did you kick some butt
and I'll say I don't really remember
but my fingers are sore
and my voice is too
you'll say it's really good to see you
you'll say I missed you horribly
you'll say let me carry that
give that to me
and you will take the heavy stuff
and you will drive the car
and I'll look out the window making jokes
about the way things are
how can I go home
with nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
and say what did you do out there
and what did you decide
you said you needed time
and you had time

Today, I am alone

Christmas break has officially sarted at school. All of the faculty and students are gone. For some stupid reason I have to hang around here until next week. I'm not coming to work tomorrow. It makes me depressed and I don't like feeling that way. So my boss is gone to the cold country. Okay really she's out on a boat this afternoon...I can't tell you how jealous I am. Although I would just end up sun burnned and miserable. Maybe I'm not so jealous. At any rate, tomorrow she heads off to the cold country and I can't help but want to go to. I'll be headed north after Christmas and I must say that I can not wait!!!!!

I have major present issues going on right now. I'm having a bit of a brain cramp and can't think of anything supper cool to give to my nephews or there parents, and lets not talk about my friends here. So, while my family Christmas shopping is done, I am not done shopping in the least way.

In other news, the world is good for me right now. Things are good with Ben's job and the puppy. He hates wearing clothes, but he is just so darn cute when he does where them. Yeah I'm one of those puppy parents. I don't make him do it often and it may be the ticket to a calm Christmas at my house becuase when you but the clothes on him he just lays down and chills. Yeah I know that's mean but it isn't hurting him and it is so darn cute.




I decided today to invite my brother to my house for Christmas. He really messed up awhile ago and I thought I might never forgive him, but not forgiving him is only hurting me and I'm ready to move on. He is too, as he has been making leaps and bounds to solid, contributing member of society. So, I hope he comes, and I hope he bring shis puppy Daisey. That would make my sister's holiday for sure.

Okay So I guess I should get busy on the rest of my to do list for today.

Much Love



Friday, December 7, 2007

I guess I just don't get it

I don't understand what the big deal is with this argument on the radio this morning. McDonalds is offering a free Happy Meal to those who achieve good grades on their report card. There is a big stink going on about how that's not fair to parents who don't allow their children to eat at McDonalds. Oh, for heavens sake! Get over yourselves. If you don't eat at McDonalds offer a similar reward to your child or just say, I'm sorry but we don't eat there and move on. Will there be a fit...most likely, will they get over it...yes definitely. Geez, don't make a stink and take away that reward from children who's parents would allow them to use their coupon.

Onto other news, Oprah is joining the campaign trail to support Obama. Really, she is putting her name on a candidate who has clearly shown potential, but has also demonstrated that he really doesn't have the political experience yet. Way to go Oprah! I honestly believe that her support is a truly dangerous thing, she can sway public opinion. Do we really want a president with only minimal political experience?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Books and the like

So, I discovered this really cool thing, well rather I stole Lynnsey's book and played with it and now I can make books. Yeah I know, one more reason to buy paper but hey, they are supper cute and will make great stocking stuffers.

I am so proud of myself.
I know I haven't written lately but it's been hectic.

My house is CLEAN!!!!! It is so nice to not have to deal with a pile of crap when I get home. The trick will be not lettting it get out of control again. If you know me, you know that that is a challenge.

Christmas with my family is at my house this year. So, I have my tree up and decorated, outside decorations up, guest room looking very inviting and my office actually looks like an office/ workroom.

I love Christmas, I love it so much, even if it is 80 degrees and doesn't really feel much like Christmas.

Okay...off to figure out the end of the semester and a to do list for tomorrow!!!

Holy Cow only 8 more days of work before the holiday!!!!!!!!!! Yipee

Friday, November 30, 2007

A mixed up gift

I'm dreaming of
Suzy Snowflake
Tap tap tapping on my
winter wonderland
please have snow and mistletoe
casue, Santa Claus is coming to town


He He He...I love Christmas music. Even when it is all jumbled up!


I'm so proud I did every lick of laundry in my house last night, so now I just have some cleaning to do and then I'll be all set for the holidays! How exciting!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

A Second Job

Applying for a second job tonight. It sounds like fun. I always wanted to be one of the people who gave out samples. Sounds like it's going to be a good time. Now I just have to find my social security card. EEEk....no clue where that is

It hurts

ache
dull and pulsing
where there should be joy
breaking
how do we fix it
is there a way
ache
it hurts
and I don't know what to do

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

People and Babies

People and Babies are a funny thing to put together. Maybe becuase they are the same but they seem different. Everytime I look around I see someone else that I knew earlier in my life that is having a baby or trying to have a baby. Things are hectic in my life right now and it will be another nearly two years before I am married. So why is that people having babies makes me so jealous? I know that a baby would be the worng way to right now, but knowing that doesn't stop the ache in my chest when I find out one more person I know is having a baby. If this is some sort of message from a higher power I need her to knwo that I'm not going to listen. There will be no babies in my near future. There is a wedding to plan, graduate school and a better job before having a baby. I'm doing a whole lot to not have babies. So please, let that ache just go away, let me be happy for people who are happily bringing wonderful children into loving homes!

Monday, November 19, 2007

a fog has settled
dreams faded
tomorrow brings hope
today unrest,
easily disturbed
pushing, swaying,
nearly breaking
sweat glistens on my palms
nerves of steel
melt
when do I know-
to say no

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Admit Defeat

Step one...admit that I was wrong. I was wrong, I was angry, hurt, and in over my head. Now if it was only as simple as admitting fault. Somehow I think that there is far more that is going to have to happen before things even start to get back to normal. Maybe they never will, that wouldn't be so bad actually. Maybe we can define a new normal. That would be excellent.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Enough is Enough

Today was enough to push me to the edge. I've got to get it all figured out, written down on paper and then fix this. I can't feel this way anymore. I won't feel this way anymore.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

It's All About Attitude

The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
Charles Swindoll
I'm learning
to let it go
drift away
see a new day
chances for life
redemption
blissful awareness
I make it okay
cry the tears
yell my fears
learn to lean
fullfilled
A bright new day
a daunting task still left
its time
to change courses
Pamela Joyce

Monday, November 5, 2007

Here We Go Again

Well it's Monday. With Monday comes a fresh work week to make a fresh start. It;s not getting off to a very good one that's for sure. Ahh well what can I say, more of the same on a different day. This too shall pass, I'm just not very good at waiting for it to move through.

On a brighter note, I have permission to go SETC. Yay! So, got to get that stuff together. The dance show will be over soon. That's all I can say and I look forward to my job getting back to a point where I don't hate it anymore!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Frustrations are Mounting

Okay, so I'll face the facts. I'm mad, I'm really mad. I hate my job right now becuase I feel like there is no communication and I feel like no one even cares. Nothing is getting done, but we have a show coming with only a week worth of working days left. I'm pissed. I feel like doing nothing and at the same time I am frantic to just get it done. I hate feeling like I don't want to come to work. Ben and I just got back toa good place after me having to be here for a whole week with the musical and it's not looking good for this show coming up. I'll probably end up having to be here late every night next week and I'm not looking forward to it. I feel like this all could have been avoided. I don't know, maybe I have no right to be mad. That doesn't discount the way that I feel though.
I haven't been feeling very good all week. Today seems like the worst day of them all, my throat hurts and I have a headache. I know it's going to get worse but I can't skip work tomorrow becuase I have a shit pile of stuff to do by myself! Hopefully I can just chill over the weekend, maybe I can rest up and get to feeling better. Maybe not. I'm not doing anything on Saturday and I'm leaving work early today.

Got to go at least get started on my list of things to get done. God, I hate my job right now. Hate it!

Friday, October 26, 2007

On this day...

23 years ago I was born!

Ta da..today is my birthday.

alrighty so that was fun

write more soon

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It's Hard to Do

Growing up is hard, I suppose that no one ever said it was easy but I'm just saying now that it's hard. I guess I felt like I did well. I mean of course I'm still growing up but still, looking back I thought I had done well. I thought that I had really not seen a very hard time and that things had been pretty breezy for me. Now granted I haven't had horrible things happen to me and many people have it much worse. I just realized as I was dispensing advice to my little sister the other day that I had had it pretty rough at times. I suffered through a move at a crucial time in my life. I made it through, for the better I am sure. I was made fun of and picked on because I was an outsider. I moved along with a close group of friends on the outskirts of drama until a huge blow up my Junior year that rocked my friendships to the core and never really settled back in right. I gave up everything I knew to jaunt across the southeast to go to college, where I lived with a particularly lovely roommate my first year only to be led to my best roommate experience ever. Things never stop going this way. They always ebb and flow. There is always a down side and then a light at the end of the tunnel. Sure things that I listed may seem trivial to some people but to me it was hard to get through those times. Everyone has their own perceptions of who someone is. No one who is not me will ever know the pain and trauma that I suffered personally. Sure, it's not as great as someone elses trauma, but I'm sure I've trudge through a fair amount of crap in the middle of my field. So to end this lovely little rant about how hard I've had it, I just want to say...things will get better, they always do. Ebb and flow, up and down, life happens and sometime you have to ride the wave to get back to the piece and serenity of the beach.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

And the days grow longer

Wearily I write to you now from the desk of my lovely sister. I am pissed because today was supposed to be something special and awesome and it turned into crap in an instant. Ah well, we can't always win. The show sucks, okay it doesn't really and amazingly enough things went rather smoothly tonight. Bugs to work out but there always will be. I need to clean my ears but Penny doesn't own q-tips. I'll have to get them in the shop in the morning.

Off to Gainsville in the morning. That could be loads of fun. I can't even type right any more and this is taking way to long, so I'm off to bed. Much fun and love.


Happy Anniversary to Me

Happy Birthday to Ben


Yays!!!!!

Pamela

P.S. I hist spell check and it gives me Yaws as a valid word instead of yays. That seems stupid. what is yaws anyway. Off to bed.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Hell week

So when I was in college, hell week was the week before finals. The week when all of my teachers did their best to cram in everything that they didn't get taught in the semester, and then expected us to know well enough for the final. The week when I spent every night at the library until two in the morning with different study groups for different subjects and still feeling like I was never going to pass.

Now, I get to live through a different kind of hell week. This would be dress and the opening of the show at school. So here is the recipe for this hell week

Start with a theater that isn't working right after some work over the summer

Add tech students who are still learning and frustrated because things just aren't working

A dash of actor drama just for spice

Bake for several hours under the grueling light that are working.

Finish with whipped topping of costumes that are still being finished

Now you have the perfect recipe for near disaster and one great hell week.

Friday, October 12, 2007

What You Think You Know

the difference between me and us
places that color the world wonderful
people who trut, support, crush and stunt you
how to believe
in yourself and santa claus at the same time

what you think you know
is not what it seems
dancing in circles
laughing until tears fall
your answers are all wrong

the difference between us and me
a gap that divides the population
game plans, direction, anonimity, standing still
what are the differences

muddied waters, watercolor pictures
no bunnies living here or there
nothing but a big swirling color
nothing defined

I thought I knew

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Christmas

Alright so it's not even halloween but I can't help but wish that it was already Christmas. I have so many things coming up to look forward too. Visits from family and friends and not to mention the food. Gah....can't wait!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

being me

who I am is who I have become
through much trial and many errors
one step forward three steps back
two steps left and four steps up
around the tree blocking my path
searching for something new
finding the same old story
I stand in the middle of the woods
screaming for anyone to hear
tired of where I have rested
uncomfortable in my own skin
itching for a change
desiring something different
when will it stop
the desire to keep changing
needing to do more
the path is unknown to me
where to go next is undefined
searching, always searching
finding the new me

Monday, October 8, 2007

A New Week, A New Hope


So, Katy did end up calling Friday night. What a relief, going back to look at that post I was being such a baby. I just needed to see my buddy. So, Saturday was spent at MGM and Epcot just walking around doing fun stuff with Katy and Dan. We went to see the baby for a bit, that was supper fun. Jackson is getting so huge...but he is such a sweet baby! I just want to tell Dan thank you so much for letting me come and hang out with Katy. One of these days we need to spend some time really getting to know each other, I mean after all you did marry my wifey.


Sunday was spent hanging out with my daddy. That was so much fun, we bowled and had a good time. Hanging out is always a great time with him. Sunday night Ben and I went on a date to celebrate his new job and a new beginning and then went to the book store where I must say that I did splurge but brought home 3 books for $20 so that's good.


Today, I'm at work by myself for a good part of the day as Lynnsey is out shopping for the show. Speaking of the show we have only a week left until dress rehearsals begin. That's a week until we should be done with everything. It's coming along nicely, we should make it. We have all day Saturday if we need it although I would love to be done long before that.


Also Ben starts his new job this morning so that should be loads of fun and a great time.


Well off to actually get some work done. Starting with a cup of coffee and breakfast, then on to clean off this mountain of a mess I call a desk.

Friday, October 5, 2007

these are tears of...hell thery're just tears

So the one thing I've posted on here that I've been looking forward to the most seems to be slipping away from me. My dearest friend has yet to return my phone calls about setting up a time to meet up tomorrow and my feelings are pretty hurt. I know, I know I have no right. I just feel so out of touch with all my buddies from up north, it would have been such a great chance to catch up a bit. Ah well, I can't always get what I want. I still hope she calls, but I'm not holding out. I fel a bit like a stalker having called so many times over the past few days. I'm letting it go now, if she calls she calls if not, then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

TV Night

Thursday's I go home from work and plop my but on the couch for a night of tv. It's my thing, and I love it.
I tape Private Practice on Wednesday, so I watch it at around 7, then Ugly Betty, and then Grey's Anatomy.

I must say that I so love these three programs. They are all the tv that I really watch. I am so in love this season already.

With that said I must get back to work. IT ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Time Goes On

Ahh, it is refreshing to know that some people never change! That's all I have to say.

Stealing Cinderella

I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret i'd be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf -

Chorus -
She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman"
and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too
Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

-Chuck Wicks
Stealing Cinderella

it is what it seems to be


Okay, so I haven't been around for awhile. It is so easy for me to write when things are spiralling desperately out of control. Now though they seem to have settled into a sort of rhythm. Things are much better. Much better is an understatement. So a brief bullet point of exciting things then off to work.


  • Katy, Dan and Jackson are here in FL, I'll see them Saturday. Holy cow I am so excited.

  • The show is in a week and a half, I feel really not ready. Next week is going to suck majorly because I'll be supper stressed out!

  • Astronomy makes my brain hurt.

  • Ben lost his job :(

  • Ben gets to get a new job :)

  • Ben has had an interview already and has another lined up today :)!!!!

  • I'm supper excited about how things have turned around!

So there you have the brief version.


I'll try again later.



Pamela Joyce

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Better

I'm feeling better today. Feel like I'm moving in the right direction. I've said my piece and now I'm done. I'm going to just let it be. In the mean time I'm preparing for the worst, and praying for the best. I'm scared, really scared...but all I can do is cross my fingers and hope. Maybe he got the message.





Things at work are less frustrating, I can taste the finished product of my dress. It feels so good, it feels so good to know that I can do something that boggled my mind so much.





I'm off now, to finish up what I've started. Hooray! I can't wait until it's done!

I don't feel like I need this button today!


Monday, September 24, 2007

Later That Day

I feel like posting, there is so much that I want to say. Other things can't wait for me to get it out though.

Maybe after dinner. Maybe
********************************************

Sometimes when I get really down, I get really selfish. I want everyone to read my mind and just know. I don't want to talk. I just want to wallow. I'm hurting today. A whole lot of little stuff and a bit of big stuff has been thrown together to make one hell of a hurting kind of day. I don't much feel like divulging all of this over the Internet. Let's just say that things haven't really been going well for a bit now. I thought that everything was improving, but I was wrong. Oh, was I SO wrong. I have work to do. I have a better person to become. I have a better place to get to. I'm going there. One step at a time, learning with every stutter step along the way. I feel defeated. I feel as though I have no support in this. Mainly I feel like I can't lean on anyone. This is hard, really hard and the worst part is I feel likes its all in my head. Like people read this as a bid for attention when really it's just me, confused, dazed and defeated. I wake up each morning putting one foot in front of the other, striving to just learn one thing each day. Striving to improve infinitesimally each day. I know that self improvement is a long journey, I'm willing to do the work, it's just hard work. This feels a bit like a ramble. Like I won't even understand it later. I don't really much care though, it all has to come out.

I need to make lists. I need to see what needs to be done. I need to know that in the end it will all turn out for the best. Confidence, I need confidence.

Better, it will all get better, because disarray can only last for so long before the clearing in the woods becomes a pasture. I'm working through it, it's getting better.

Hurrumph!

disarray
noun
1.
a mental state characterized by a lack of clear and orderly thought and behavior; "a confusion of impressions" [syn:
confusion]
2.
untidiness (especially of clothing and appearance)
verb
1.
bring disorder to [syn:
disorder] [ant: order]

the above is the state of my life

not looking so great today

aww, well we all go through it

tomorrow will be better, I am sure of it

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Check This Out

Alright, so a few days back I posted about not being able to cut my project. Well the past couple of days I have been cutting it on and off. I finished cutting yesterday right before I left work. This morning I come in and get started right away. I now have the outside layer of the dress done. Holy crap was it hard. I had no idea how complicated it was going to be. At any rate I feel really proud of myself for doing a good job. I don't think it is perfect but it still looks great.

In other news, things are going better today than they have the past few days. It has finally stopped raining here, at least for today. I bowled like complete crap last night but that's all right. We ended up winning most of our points. Which is good. Great really.

So in the news lots of really crazy things have been happening this week. I'll bullet just for fun.

  • Nebraska Senator files law suit against GOD! I must say that he must be a complete idiot and that I'm glad he doesn't sit next to me all day at work.
  • A false website for the selling of daughters into marriage is exposed. The point of the experiment was met with lots of buzz. I hope it gets more people thinking.
  • The Emmy's were Sunday and while I don't agree with all the fashion commentary, I must say that I love, love, love watching all those beautiful people in great clothes walk that carpet.
  • The Jena 6 march was today and I haven't heard anything about a violent outcry. This whole situation is ridiculous. I am white and I see that what is happening is completely unfair and racist. These boys should be let go, maybe expelled from school or given probation for the fight but the kid that got beat up probably deserved it for his nasty comments and well he was out partying the same night so he must have been fine.
  • Beauty and the Geek started this week, how exciting it's going to be a great season.
  • Kid Nation was way awesome and I'm totally going to be watching that show.
  • SO SO looking forward to Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy. Ummm, Mc Dreamy and Tey Diggs, how will my heart survive.

There you have the news from me. Hopefully things continue to look up and maybe tomorrow I will have a finished dress. Can't wait to see it all done! It's going to be so great.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Two Choices

In life we have two choices, the wild walk and the straight and narrow. Sometimes we choose to walk on the wild side, others we choose the straight and narrow. You don't always have to do the same thing, otherwise brilliant ideas would be stifled. I do feel like sometimes there is a right and a wrong and the line must be toed. The wild side isn't always wrong, but sometimes it's very wrong and you shouldn't choose it. Learn from your mistakes, toe the line, choose the right side. I know, easier said than done. Maybe it just seems easier to me because I have visited the wild side so rarely. Maybe it would be harder if I had to make more difficult choices. For now my choices are easy and I am thankful. My choices are easy, my life uncomplicated and I am thankful.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Failure is Not an Option


Think about it, what we need is someone who is middle of the road and can follow through. I really love what this campaign is speaking out for. Join now on dividedwefail.org! It is so worth it to show your support.

What? What do you want from me?

Sometimes I feel like I have no choice. I am stuck by my own actions. I have no options. I have no freedom. Then, I am struck like a baseball to the forehead; you made the choices, you got yourself stuck. Just as quickly as I realize this I begin to get unstuck. None of this is anybodies fault but my own. My mistakes lead me to where I am and teach me to go somewhere different. Still I am stuck. Stuck to the side of the love of my life. Fighting for us to just make it. Fighting for him to see that his choices lead him into the life he lives. Make different choices get a different outcome. This isn't all about me this time. This is all about you. See it, feel it, fear it, then stand up and smack the piss out of it. Then, and only then, your life will change. Maybe it will get worse, but somehow I see that as improbable. It can only get better, don't you see. Of course you don't, that's why you blame me. That's why you blame us. That's why you can't move towards the future. Find your future for you, find it for only you. Then you will be happy and you will have no one to thank but yourself, just as you have no one to blame for your unhappiness but you.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Way To MY Heart

I am a lover of silly simple things. I love rubber ducks and chicken noodle soup. I like to be talked to rather than talked at. I love honesty, even if it cuts in the moment. So the way to my heart would seem simple. Honesty, love, support, understanding and a rubber duck for good measure. Not so hard, even though it seems he just doesn't get it.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Here We Go Again

Today, I came to wrok thinking that I would get to do this awesome project, well at least get started on it anyway, but now I can't. My boss did a silly thing and didn't think about the amount of fabric that we would need and now there isn't a enough to cut the project. GRRRRR!

In other news, well there really isn't much other news.

  • Katy, Dan and Jackson will be down in like a month. That will be fun. Jackson has gotten so BIG! Can't wait to see them and just hang out for a bit.
  • Benjamin has a job interview on Saturday. Hope that things work out there. This would be an awesome opportunity for him.
  • The new car is awesome, even if it is missing a cover on the back door handle. they're fixing it on Saturday.
  • Things are going supper otherwise.

So, for now that's all. Maybe more later at some other point today.

Much love!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Entry One

Alright, so I'm moving my blogging from myspace to here. I never update there anyway so maybe starting from scratch will make me want to update. Somehow I doubt that. For now, I will remain optimistic. I'll be back later today to write all about me and what's going on in my life. More...soon...I promise.