Monday, September 29, 2008

A survery of sorts

Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people right now
1. I wish you could know how affraid I am, I know that you would calm my fears but I just wish you could understand my fear
2. I am so proud of everything that you have done, I miss you but I don't want you to come home becuase this is good for you
3. I wish that I lived closer to you and I'm sorry that you are going through all that CRAP
4. If you are happy, truely happy, then I'm happy for you and I'm glad that somehow things turned around for you two
5. I know that you are hurting, I wish I was there to cuddle you and cry with you
6. Thank you for everything that you have given me, I am who I am today becuase of you
7. I wish that you would wise up, you are so much smarter than this life that you are leading
8. You have five years before you get grandkids...I wish you would shape up so that you'll be here for them
9. I'm going to miss you and the antics of this place, I can't thank yo enough for everything that you have taught me
10. You are a prick who has done nothing but take advantage of the people who love you and I hope one day you'll realize what you have done and change who you are.

Nine things about myself
1. I love a boy that loves ME back for the first time ever
2. I have a puppy that is the center of my world for now
3. I can debate almost anything, even if I don't believe in the cause
4. I have made more bad decisions than I care to admit to but, I am stronger for being allowed to fall flat on my face
5. I love clothes and fashion and color but, I almost never buy anything in the heart of the season
6. I'm slow at math but secretly love how it works
7. I am loaning 5 formal dresses that have never been worn right out of my closet and you know what there are at least 10 more where those came from
8. I love to shop, especially for other people and watch them in wonder as they discover that you don't have to wear the same old things to feel comfortable
9. I have a stack of books that I want to read so badly that I am tempted to start them all at the same time.

Eight ways to win my heart
1. Be honest
2. Have a plan for the direction of your life
3. Be the cuddley, holding hand type of person
4. Feed me
5. Talk to me about things I don't know about in a way that I will understand but won't make me feel like you are trying to explain astrophysics to a five year old
6. Have convictions/strong opinons about things that matter to you
7. Take care of yourself and smell yummy
8. Get along with my friends and family becuase they are an extention of me

Seven things that cross my mind a lot
1. My five year plan
2. Grad school and affording it
3. What's for dinner/lunch?
4. How many hours until I get to see him again
5. What are we doing at work today?
6. Can I make a list for that
7. How everyone that I know is doing

Six things that I do before I fall asleep
1. Put on my PJs
2. Brush my teeth
3. Double check all the locks on the doors
4. Fold the blanket down at the foot of my bed
5. Set the alarm
6. Call Matthew to say goodnight if we aren't already on the phone

Five people who mean a lot to me
1. My Mom and Daddy
2. Penny
3. Matthew
4. Amanda, Jen, Jen, Katy, Lizzy
5. Lynnsey

Four things I'm wearing right now
1. Blue Jeans
2. Pink Polo
3. Cirque zip hoodie
4. Sneakers

Three songs/artists that I listen to often
1. Jessica Simpson, Do you Know and Your My Sunday
2. Keith Urban
3. Anything on the radio

Two things that I want to do before I die
1. Have and raise children
2. Travel to the rest of the world

One confession
I will always hate to be wrong, but I'll always say I'm sorry.

Yesterday Morning

I have thought long and hard about what lies below this paragraph. I don't know if anyone of consequence to this situation actually reads this blog. At this point I don't care. Maybe, this isn't the right thing to do. It's the only option that I feel like I have.

My answer yesterday was a cop out. I wanted so badly to scream in rage out at you. I have never felt so protective of someone I know so little about. You are her sister. She is YOUR SISTER!!!!!! How could you say those things. How could you air her laundry for the world to see without her there to defend herself? How could you tell all of that without the history? How could you not take partial responsibility for her feeling so isolated in her own home that she doesn't want to come home? I will never understand what you did. EVER! I know that you don't agree with what is going on. I know that in your eyes and the eyes of your family she is making a huge mistake. I know that you think you know best. Then I must ask what kind of example have you lead?
I hate more than anything when parents say that adult older children are the example for younger adult children. By the time you are an adult you should be making your own choices free and clear from the shadow of your siblings. But still I know that your family believes in this sort of thing so I must say what example have you set. You were in a volatile, to but it nicely, relationship with a person that you claim to have loved but can't stop pulling through the mud at every opportunity. Is that what you want for your sister? Really?
You had no business talking about your sister like this. As if you have been nothing but a support system to her and truly can't understand her desire to not be looked down upon. People talk, we all know that your relationship isn't exactly supportive.
So, I stand by my answer of not knowing the ins and outs. I know that I am missing pieces. I also know that as her sister, you should never go behind her back and call her out in that manner. A family is supposed to be a source of love and companionship, not a source of strife where everyone but the person who you are miffed at knows the source of aggravation. If you want it to get better you have to work at it. And you have to work at it fairly.
You should feel lucky that everyone doesn't know every failure that you have had in your faith. I can't believe you. I just can't believe that behavior.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Let Me

Keep your head there on my shoulder.
Let's just lay here for awhile.
We can hurry when were older.
Girl don't worry about tomorrow.
That just seems so far away.
Luckily me and you, all that we have to do is follow,
just follow.

Let me be the one who sets your feet up on a road where you've never been,
oh and baby then,
you can let me take these arms and wrap you up inside a night that will never end.
I wanna be that man, if you let me.
Come on baby let me.

Baby leave those candles burning,
slide on over here to me.
If you run with me girl, you know we'll make this world stop turning,
just stop turning.

Let me be the one who sets your feet up on a road where you've never been,
oh and baby then,
you can let me take these arms and wrap you up inside a night that will never end.
I'd like to be that man, if you'd let me.
Ohhhhhh, ohhhhh.

Let me be the one who sets your feet up on a road where you've never been.

Yeah! Let me take these arms and wrap you up inside a night that will never end.
I wanna be that man, if you let me.
Sweet baby let me.

-Pat Green

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Guilty Pleasure

So, from the begining of her career Jessica Simpson has always been a secret favorite of mine. Her music comes up in my mixed CDs and I have every album she has ever put out. I know that people mocked her as apop singer because, lets face it she wasn't really a popstar. Her songs just aren't beat driven enough and her lyrical content is a bit to mushy. So, I can't tell you how excited I was when I heard she was releasing a country album. Then I heard the first single on the radio and was blown away that she sounded so good. Naturally I had to buy the album yesterday when it came out. I promtly downloaded it from itunes when I got to work yesterday and have been listening to it on repeat ever since. It is so good. I love nearly all the songs even if they aren't all happy. I posted You're My Sunday on the right side for you to take a listen. I'm so happy that she delivered in my opinion the best album she has ever. to actually get some work done today.