Wednesday, June 25, 2008

doors, doors, doors

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
-Flora Whittemore

To often in my life I have heard metaphors about doors. You know the ones about closed doors and open windows or rather another opened door. I never cared much for them because they don't offer an opportunity for you to take responsibility for why the door closed. I love this quote because it gives ownership of the action. I have allowed doors to close that maybe, I should have kept open. I have allowed myself to stand screaming at a closed door. I have learned from those mistakes. For once I feel like I opened the right door, at just the right moment. Even though things are less stable than I would like at the moment everything is just fine. Now, I only have to decide which door is next. At least Maxwell Smart only has to walk down the hallway, there isn't any choice in which door is next.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Love You With All My Heart

I can feel you watchin', I can feel your eyes on me
I can hear you whisper and I just get so weak
But I'm a little bit scared, it's been a long time
Since I let my guard down and let someone inside
You don't need to wonder, 'cause tonight you'll get it all

When the night closes in, I'm gonna pull you so close
Hold you so tight, gonna let it all go
And you can do what you want, you can take me right here
'Cause I knew from the start I was gonna love you with all my heart

You take my hand now, and I'm ready to begin
Though it makes me crazy when your fingers touch my skin
And I know what you want and you know what I need
There's no reason to pretend that we don't know what this means

When the night closes in, I'm gonna pull you so close
Hold you so tight, gonna let it all go
And you can do what you want, you can take me right here
'Cause I knew from the start I was gonna love you with all my heart

I'm gonna rock you, baby
And take away your maybe
And you can rest here in these open arms

When the night closes in, I'm gonna pull you so close
Hold you so tight, gonna let it all go
And you can do what you want, you can take me right here
'Cause I knew from the start I was gonna love you with all my heart

I was gonna love you with all my heart
I was gonna love you with all my heart

I can feel you watchin', I can feel your eyes on me

Sara Evans

Monday, June 16, 2008


as defined by

The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.

Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.

This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.

It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It's the smile on your face you get when you're thinking about them and miss them.

Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. -Sophocles

Friday, June 13, 2008

To much to think about...

Today is a weird kind of day. Everything is really calm. The shop is cleaned up and I'm just hanging out at work waiting for the Tiffany to get here to do laundry. This kind of calm inspires me to think about the awesomeness of everything that I have. So often I am prone to taking my life for granted or complaining about how hard it is but, it's days like these that I am thankful for everything. Things are pretty easy for me and I am more than grateful for that.

Tonight, Matthew is coming to see the show. I'm excited about that. Tomorrow will be two months of really awesome times with him. That sounds so middle school but it's so true. He inspires me to keep moving forward and I'm glad that I have his hand to hold through the scary stuff.

Coming up next week is the Second Annual Slip N' Slide Fun Party. Perhaps pictures will be in order!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
-Victor Frankl
So many times I have struggled with change, thrown myself into and pulled back at the last second but nothing rings more true than the way I have grown through change.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


wonder, wonder, wonder...what's in a wonder ball!

So, today has been a strange day and I'm not sure that tomorrow is going to get much better. Lots of smaller things to finish up tomorrow and then the show opens. I can't wait to be rid of the stress, but I'm proud of myself for still managing to get home every day this week and not breaking out with stress eczema between my fingers or a nasty cold sore, although as soon as I write that both will afflict me I'm sure!

I'm headed home to play with my puppy, becuase I feel like he's been neglected over the last week.

Yay...46 Hours and counting!!!!! I miss you

i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I Like You

I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg

I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special,
you know it's special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, Remember when you told me something special
And both of us remember

When I think something is important
you think it's important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I'm funny and you think I'm funny too
I like you because you know where I'm ticklish
And you don't tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too
You know how to be silly
That's why I like you
Boy are you ever silly
I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
I like you because you know when it's time to stop being silly
Maybe day after tomorrow
Maybe never
Too late, it's a quarter past silly
Sometimes we don't say a word
We snurkle under fences
We spy secret places
If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off
You are one too
If I pretend I am drowning, you pretend you are saving me
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump

That's because you really like me
You really like me, don't you
And I really like you back
And you like me back and I like you back
And that's the way we keep on going every day

If you go away, then I go away too
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
You don't just say Well see you around sometime, bye
I like you a lot because of that
If I go away, I send you a postcard too
And I like you because if we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me

And I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don't always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can't stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things
It takes time

I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It's awful when the other person isn't
They are so nice and hoo-hoo you could just about punch them in the nose

I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry
You don't just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
You say, maybe it was something you ate
You say, the same thing happened to me one time
And the same thing did

If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
If I find four, I give you two
If we only find three, we keep on looking
Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don't

If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
Then it's fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
We are both sorry
We write our names and draw pictures
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too

I like you because I don't know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can't remember when I didn't like you
It must have been lonesome then

I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do
So many reasons
On the 4th of July I like you because it's the 4th of July
On the fifth of July, I like you too
If you and I had some drums and some horns and some horses
If we had some hats and some flags and some fire engines
We could be a HOLIDAY
We could be a CELEBRATION
We could be a WHOLE PARADE
See what I mean?

Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I really like you
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you
I guess I just like you because I like you.

Monday, June 9, 2008


In a perfect world you would be there when I get home tonight. I know that it's not going to happen. After all the world isn't perfect. And let's not even mention the fact that what I want and what needs to happen are like four different things.

Off to work on the show...becuase we need to get done to relieve the stress for the rest of the week!

Monday, June 2, 2008

missing parts

parts of me seem to be missing
it's really hard to focus
I'm so easily distracted
do you know how hard that makes it
just doing regular things takes forever
I wonder what exactly is missing
and how I put it back
so that I can get through the days