i can't say it out loud

why do I feel so broken. why is it that I want so badly to just sit here in this space and cry. when it comes down to it, that dream was telling but what if staying is more of a nightmare. it's never just a dream to me, I found that out in fourth grade. it might take time but somehow those dreams that seem so real only take time before they somehow work into my real life. really, I don't know what to do and I need your help. please