On this day...

23 years ago I was born!

Ta da..today is my birthday.

alrighty so that was fun

write more soon

It's Hard to Do

Growing up is hard, I suppose that no one ever said it was easy but I'm just saying now that it's hard. I guess I felt like I did well. I mean of course I'm still growing up but still, looking back I thought I had done well. I thought that I had really not seen a very hard time and that things had been pretty breezy for me. Now granted I haven't had horrible things happen to me and many people have it much worse. I just realized as I was dispensing advice to my little sister the other day that I had had it pretty rough at times. I suffered through a move at a crucial time in my life. I made it through, for the better I am sure. I was made fun of and picked on because I was an outsider. I moved along with a close group of friends on the outskirts of drama until a huge blow up my Junior year that rocked my friendships to the core and never really settled back in right. I gave up everything I knew to jaunt across the southeast to go to college, where I lived with a particularly lovely roommate my first year only to be led to my best roommate experience ever. Things never stop going this way. They always ebb and flow. There is always a down side and then a light at the end of the tunnel. Sure things that I listed may seem trivial to some people but to me it was hard to get through those times. Everyone has their own perceptions of who someone is. No one who is not me will ever know the pain and trauma that I suffered personally. Sure, it's not as great as someone elses trauma, but I'm sure I've trudge through a fair amount of crap in the middle of my field. So to end this lovely little rant about how hard I've had it, I just want to say...things will get better, they always do. Ebb and flow, up and down, life happens and sometime you have to ride the wave to get back to the piece and serenity of the beach.

And the days grow longer

Wearily I write to you now from the desk of my lovely sister. I am pissed because today was supposed to be something special and awesome and it turned into crap in an instant. Ah well, we can't always win. The show sucks, okay it doesn't really and amazingly enough things went rather smoothly tonight. Bugs to work out but there always will be. I need to clean my ears but Penny doesn't own q-tips. I'll have to get them in the shop in the morning.

Off to Gainsville in the morning. That could be loads of fun. I can't even type right any more and this is taking way to long, so I'm off to bed. Much fun and love.


Happy Anniversary to Me

Happy Birthday to Ben


Yays!!!!!

Pamela

P.S. I hist spell check and it gives me Yaws as a valid word instead of yays. That seems stupid. what is yaws anyway. Off to bed.

Hell week

So when I was in college, hell week was the week before finals. The week when all of my teachers did their best to cram in everything that they didn't get taught in the semester, and then expected us to know well enough for the final. The week when I spent every night at the library until two in the morning with different study groups for different subjects and still feeling like I was never going to pass.

Now, I get to live through a different kind of hell week. This would be dress and the opening of the show at school. So here is the recipe for this hell week

Start with a theater that isn't working right after some work over the summer

Add tech students who are still learning and frustrated because things just aren't working

A dash of actor drama just for spice

Bake for several hours under the grueling light that are working.

Finish with whipped topping of costumes that are still being finished

Now you have the perfect recipe for near disaster and one great hell week.

What You Think You Know

the difference between me and us
places that color the world wonderful
people who trut, support, crush and stunt you
how to believe
in yourself and santa claus at the same time

what you think you know
is not what it seems
dancing in circles
laughing until tears fall
your answers are all wrong

the difference between us and me
a gap that divides the population
game plans, direction, anonimity, standing still
what are the differences

muddied waters, watercolor pictures
no bunnies living here or there
nothing but a big swirling color
nothing defined

I thought I knew

Christmas

Alright so it's not even halloween but I can't help but wish that it was already Christmas. I have so many things coming up to look forward too. Visits from family and friends and not to mention the food. Gah....can't wait!

being me

who I am is who I have become
through much trial and many errors
one step forward three steps back
two steps left and four steps up
around the tree blocking my path
searching for something new
finding the same old story
I stand in the middle of the woods
screaming for anyone to hear
tired of where I have rested
uncomfortable in my own skin
itching for a change
desiring something different
when will it stop
the desire to keep changing
needing to do more
the path is unknown to me
where to go next is undefined
searching, always searching
finding the new me

A New Week, A New Hope

So, Katy did end up calling Friday night. What a relief, going back to look at that post I was being such a baby. I just needed to see my buddy. So, Saturday was spent at MGM and Epcot just walking around doing fun stuff with Katy and Dan. We went to see the baby for a bit, that was supper fun. Jackson is getting so huge...but he is such a sweet baby! I just want to tell Dan thank you so much for letting me come and hang out with Katy. One of these days we need to spend some time really getting to know each other, I mean after all you did marry my wifey.

Sunday was spent hanging out with my daddy. That was so much fun, we bowled and had a good time. Hanging out is always a great time with him. Sunday night Ben and I went on a date to celebrate his new job and a new beginning and then went to the book store where I must say that I did splurge but brought home 3 books for $20 so that's good.

Today, I'm at work by myself for a good part of the day as Lynnsey is out shopping for the show. Speaking of the show we have only a week left until dress rehearsals begin. That's a week until we should be done with everything. It's coming along nicely, we should make it. We have all day Saturday if we need it although I would love to be done long before that.

Also Ben starts his new job this morning so that should be loads of fun and a great time.

Well off to actually get some work done. Starting with a cup of coffee and breakfast, then on to clean off this mountain of a mess I call a desk.

these are tears of...hell thery're just tears

So the one thing I've posted on here that I've been looking forward to the most seems to be slipping away from me. My dearest friend has yet to return my phone calls about setting up a time to meet up tomorrow and my feelings are pretty hurt. I know, I know I have no right. I just feel so out of touch with all my buddies from up north, it would have been such a great chance to catch up a bit. Ah well, I can't always get what I want. I still hope she calls, but I'm not holding out. I fel a bit like a stalker having called so many times over the past few days. I'm letting it go now, if she calls she calls if not, then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

TV Night

Thursday's I go home from work and plop my but on the couch for a night of tv. It's my thing, and I love it.
I tape Private Practice on Wednesday, so I watch it at around 7, then Ugly Betty, and then Grey's Anatomy.

I must say that I so love these three programs. They are all the tv that I really watch. I am so in love this season already.

With that said I must get back to work. IT ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!

Time Goes On

Ahh, it is refreshing to know that some people never change! That's all I have to say.

Stealing Cinderella

I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret i'd be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf -

Chorus -
She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman"
and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too
Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

-Chuck Wicks
Stealing Cinderella

it is what it seems to be

Okay, so I haven't been around for awhile. It is so easy for me to write when things are spiralling desperately out of control. Now though they seem to have settled into a sort of rhythm. Things are much better. Much better is an understatement. So a brief bullet point of exciting things then off to work.

• Katy, Dan and Jackson are here in FL, I'll see them Saturday. Holy cow I am so excited.


• The show is in a week and a half, I feel really not ready. Next week is going to suck majorly because I'll be supper stressed out!


• Astronomy makes my brain hurt.


• Ben lost his job :(


• Ben gets to get a new job :)


• Ben has had an interview already and has another lined up today :)!!!!


• I'm supper excited about how things have turned around!

So there you have the brief version.

I'll try again later.

Pamela Joyce