On this day...

23 years ago I was born!

Ta da..today is my birthday.

alrighty so that was fun

write more soon

It's Hard to Do

Growing up is hard, I suppose that no one ever said it was easy but I'm just saying now that it's hard. I guess I felt like I did well. I mean of course I'm still growing up but still, looking back I thought I had done well. I thought that I had really not seen a very hard time and that things had been pretty breezy for me. Now granted I haven't had horrible things happen to me and many people have it much worse. I just realized as I was dispensing advice to my little sister the other day that I had had it pretty rough at times. I suffered through a move at a crucial time in my life. I made it through, for the better I am sure. I was made fun of and picked on because I was an outsider. I moved along with a close group of friends on the outskirts of drama until a huge blow up my Junior year that rocked my friendships to the core and never really settled back in right. I gave up everything I knew to jaunt across the southeast to go to college, where I lived with a particularly lovely roommate my first year only to be led to my best roommate experience ever. Things never stop going this way. They always ebb and flow. There is always a down side and then a light at the end of the tunnel. Sure things that I listed may seem trivial to some people but to me it was hard to get through those times. Everyone has their own perceptions of who someone is. No one who is not me will ever know the pain and trauma that I suffered personally. Sure, it's not as great as someone elses trauma, but I'm sure I've trudge through a fair amount of crap in the middle of my field. So to end this lovely little rant about how hard I've had it, I just want to say...things will get better, they always do. Ebb and flow, up and down, life happens and sometime you have to ride the wave to get back to the piece and serenity of the beach.

And the days grow longer

Wearily I write to you now from the desk of my lovely sister. I am pissed because today was supposed to be something special and awesome and it turned into crap in an instant. Ah well, we can't always win. The show sucks, okay it doesn't really and amazingly enough things went rather smoothly tonight. Bugs to work out but there always will be. I need to clean my ears but Penny doesn't own q-tips. I'll have to get them in the shop in the morning.

Off to Gainsville in the morning. That could be loads of fun. I can't even type right any more and this is taking way to long, so I'm off to bed. Much fun and love.


Happy Anniversary to Me

Happy Birthday to Ben


Yays!!!!!

Pamela

P.S. I hist spell check and it gives me Yaws as a valid word instead of yays. That seems stupid. what is yaws anyway. Off to bed.

Hell week

So when I was in college, hell week was the week before finals. The week when all of my teachers did their best to cram in everything that they didn't get taught in the semester, and then expected us to know well enough for the final. The week when I spent every night at the library until two in the morning with different study groups for different subjects and still feeling like I was never going to pass.

Now, I get to live through a different kind of hell week. This would be dress and the opening of the show at school. So here is the recipe for this hell week

Start with a theater that isn't working right after some work over the summer

Add tech students who are still learning and frustrated because things just aren't working

A dash of actor drama just for spice

Bake for several hours under the grueling light that are working.

Finish with whipped topping of costumes that are still being finished

Now you have the perfect recipe for near disaster and one great hell week.

What You Think You Know

the difference between me and us
places that color the world wonderful
people who trut, support, crush and stunt you
how to believe
in yourself and santa claus at the same time

what you think you know
is not what it seems
dancing in circles
laughing until tears fall
your answers are all wrong

the difference between us and me
a gap that divides the population
game plans, direction, anonimity, standing still
what are the differences

muddied waters, watercolor pictures
no bunnies living here or there
nothing but a big swirling color
nothing defined

I thought I knew

Christmas

Alright so it's not even halloween but I can't help but wish that it was already Christmas. I have so many things coming up to look forward too. Visits from family and friends and not to mention the food. Gah....can't wait!

being me

who I am is who I have become
through much trial and many errors
one step forward three steps back
two steps left and four steps up
around the tree blocking my path
searching for something new
finding the same old story
I stand in the middle of the woods
screaming for anyone to hear
tired of where I have rested
uncomfortable in my own skin
itching for a change
desiring something different
when will it stop
the desire to keep changing
needing to do more
the path is unknown to me
where to go next is undefined
searching, always searching
finding the new me