a weird week

It's been a weird week. I've been making pro-con lists that would make Rory Gilmore proud. So far a decision hasn't been made. I keep thinking that maybe I'll feel differently when I have more information. As it stands right now, I don't know what to do. Last night I realized that one of the my biggest fears is being seen as a disappointment if I choose not to go. In that same thought I'm afraid that later I'll see myself as a disappointment. All I know is that I have no idea. This kind of indecision is not good for me. It drives me to the point of distraction, and near depression. I don't want to give up on this, but I think that I'm in need of two fully functional plans. Maybe it will get better soon. Maybe I'll be able to figure something out. In time this will all play out and I'll look back here and chuckle at my impatient self, until then I'll just drive myself up the wall of the loony bin!