to plan

Some people are cut out to fly by the seat of their pants. They just drift along and take what comes to them. They are a unique lot because they can adapt very quickly, always managing to make the best of their circumstance if they are are going to be happy. Of course, there are those who float along but aren't really cut out for this type of life. These are people who take no responsibility in their lives and are perpetually blaming their strife and hardship on everyone around them. They never find true happiness and they will never understand why. I am neither of these kinds of people. I am the kind of person who needs a plan. I need direction in my life and I can never stand still for very long. The thing is though that I feel like I am bit of a mixture of sorts. I love to have a plan and a map but I am eager to detour and find what is off the beaten path. I feel a little bit like I'm talking in a circle here. The fact is, in Feb. I rewrote my 5 year plan to actually be six years and I would end with my PhD. Now, I'm not sure exactly how to work it all out again. Because gallivanting off to LA for the next 5 years is looking more and more like a plan I'm not ready to follow through on. Yes, I'm ready to go back to get my masters, yes I want to go up to LSU, yes I'm eager to sink my soul into learning again. I just don't know if I'm ready to go for five years. There is so much going on in my brain today. All I have left to do is chat it all out and see where the cards lay.