Monday, February 11, 2008

A good day

Today, it's going to be alright
becuase I said so!
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In the past four days I have trudged through a range of emotions. I know that the light at the end of the tunnel is only getting brighter everyday. I am so thankful for everyone that has been there to listen to me whine about all of this. So thankful.
Today, I break out the sappy love songs and the break-up songs that are about resolutions and moving on. I think I'm back to my old self. Still healing but it's getting better and I'm looking forward to the future.
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Over the weekend I wrote a journal entry about different kinds of breakups. Someone was asking me how I had managed to move on so quickly. What I need people to understand is that I'm okay. I really feel like I had already resolved that it was over. It was finished, I was hanging on to something that was dead. I knew it was over but I couldn't admit it. Once I did I really felt relieved. I was happier that first week than I had been in months even with the saddness of losing my friend and my companion. He wasn't the same any more, he was someone I didn't know, and not the person that I loved anymore. This kind of breakup is so different than one that you haven't been expecting. I had already hurt through all of this, I was already healing, then by breaking it off I broke open my wound again. So, I'm okay...even if my entries have been emo. I think that I write more about the sad things because it's easier to write about than talk about it. The good things I can talk about, I can tell people about them and I don't feel strange. So, from here on out I will do my best to be more optimistic. Because really...it's not that bad.
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P.S. Mom, I'm okay. Thanks for being supportive and a bit worried. I'm just emo in my blog, I am not depressed. I love you!

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